Stressed. Me? Nahhhh

fun time

It’s gotta be a tribute to my love of my children that the impending “trial” that their father is forcing has turned my heart, literally, into a quivering mess. It’s rewarded me with a 2 a.m. trip to the e.r. because my heart was skipping beats more than once a minute, all night.  Skipping beats at such a rate that I’ve had to add another medication to my list.  The medication seems to be helping to push my emotions over the edge they’re usually dangling near.

See the skip?  Every time it happens, it catches my breath.  Makes it hard to sleep.  The new meds haven’t stopped them – I’m hoping it will start to work soon.

Alone.

I took this photo many years ago when we were still living in northern New Hampshire. I happened to notice the sunlight coming into our tiny bathroom window, and ran to get my camera. Balancing one foot on each side of the tub’s edge, I snapped this photo because the scene absolutely spoke to me.

alone
Alone

Later, when I got it printed, it moved me even more. That tree was me.

That’s me – that tree, standing there alone – exposed to the elements, with nothing (or no one) for shelter.

“But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when
your parents die, you feel like instead of going
in to every fight with backup,
you are going into every fight alone.”
Mitch Albom, For One More Day

Time

Time is flying by me.  I’m losing time to do stuff that I want to do before I’m too old to do it.  I’m losing time with my kids.  Time is life.