love Archive

Time


I can hardly believe it’s been nearly a year.

A year ago, I was planning a trip to the west coast, a place I had never been. I was going to meet a man I had never met. He was (and remains) mostly vanilla, and that was (and remains) OK with me.

I had created a new life for myself. I had shed both the physical and emotional ties that had held me for so long, and was enjoying a whole new me. Well, mostly new. I was, and still am, held back by my own misgivings and inabilities, both physical and emotional, but I had decided to throw caution to the wind with a laissez faire attitude. In essence, I was daring myself. Would I have the courage to do this?

I did.

In the process, I had to redefine some friendships that I had forged with a couple of people who (fortunately) were understanding and in doing so, made room in my heart for the man who had belonged there all along.

The journey has been filled with ups and downs. The distance sometimes seems insurmountable. The problems sometimes seem unfixable. Nearly 30,000 miles traveled by me alone, always alone. Yes, I travel with him in my heart, but never by my side. Our visits are always full of fun, business, friends, family – but they’re just visits. While the fight continues at a snail’s pace to change the geographic location, the desire remains strong and true.

Next week, we will celebrate one year together ~ short by most definitions of relationships ~ but hopefully a strong foundation for a lifetime of love, acceptance, friendship and comfort.

My love
My love and me at our 2nd wedding in Washington
My love

Mrs. Rick

I have been blogging for well over 10 years, but I don’t think I’ve ever blogged the words “I LOVE MY HUSBAND”.  Even when I was happy with my ex and we lived as a married couple, it wasn’t the same.

But here I am, MARRIED and loving my husband.  Sure, it’s only been a couple of months, and sure, we live 2000 miles apart, but still!  I love the fact that he GETS me.  He doesn’t roll his eyes when I call him with that catch in my voice that lets him know I’m ready to cry.  He talks me down when I get upset about the upcoming trial.  He laughs with me, cries with me, teases me, treats me with RESPECT.  We’re equals.

Conversely, I also talk him down when he starts to get overwhelmed by bills or business.  We balance each other out in a way I’ve never experienced before.  With him, I’m “ENOUGH”.

As usual with me, though, I will hedge this by saying “right now”.  I might not be “ENOUGH” for him when we actually share a home, a life, a business, a family.  But it’s a good start.

<3

My love
My love and me at our 2nd wedding in Washington

marble

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Support

One of the neat things about this house is that all of the windowsills are fashioned out of what appears to be marble.  They are thick slabs of marble that you know will support whatever you put on them.

On the sill in the kitchen, the first thing I did was place a photo of my mom hugging her mom, who is cradling my first-born.  My grandmother (Nana) hopefully did not realize that mom was also supporting the baby, because we weren’t sure that Nana really had him – she’d been showing signs of dementia – so mom has one hand on nana’s shoulder, and the other one is supporting Nana’s other arm, which is supporting the baby.  It’s all done out of love, of course.  Each morning, I sit at my table and drink my coffee with mom and Nana as they sit perched on the marble windowsill.