Stressed. Me? Nahhhh

fun time

It’s gotta be a tribute to my love of my children that the impending “trial” that their father is forcing has turned my heart, literally, into a quivering mess. It’s rewarded me with a 2 a.m. trip to the e.r. because my heart was skipping beats more than once a minute, all night.  Skipping beats at such a rate that I’ve had to add another medication to my list.  The medication seems to be helping to push my emotions over the edge they’re usually dangling near.

See the skip?  Every time it happens, it catches my breath.  Makes it hard to sleep.  The new meds haven’t stopped them – I’m hoping it will start to work soon.

My love

Mrs. Rick

I have been blogging for well over 10 years, but I don’t think I’ve ever blogged the words “I LOVE MY HUSBAND”.  Even when I was happy with my ex and we lived as a married couple, it wasn’t the same.

But here I am, MARRIED and loving my husband.  Sure, it’s only been a couple of months, and sure, we live 2000 miles apart, but still!  I love the fact that he GETS me.  He doesn’t roll his eyes when I call him with that catch in my voice that lets him know I’m ready to cry.  He talks me down when I get upset about the upcoming trial.  He laughs with me, cries with me, teases me, treats me with RESPECT.  We’re equals.

Conversely, I also talk him down when he starts to get overwhelmed by bills or business.  We balance each other out in a way I’ve never experienced before.  With him, I’m “ENOUGH”.

As usual with me, though, I will hedge this by saying “right now”.  I might not be “ENOUGH” for him when we actually share a home, a life, a business, a family.  But it’s a good start.


My love
My love and me at our 2nd wedding in Washington


Rick & I went out for Chinese one of the days I was in Seattle.  Our fortunes read as follows:

Me:  You are given the chance to take part in an exciting adventure.

Him:  Your life becomes more and more of an adventure!



We thought it was so prophetic!

I’m leaaaaving on a jet plane….

I don’t know when I’ll be back again….

Actually, I’ll be back on Monday.  but yeah… I’m leaving!


A friend from Runescape has invited me out to consult on his new business that he’s looking to buy in Seattle.  He’s paid for my ticket, sent me travel money, and has the hotel booked. Everything is set.  I have not been away from the kids for any length of time in 6 years.  I haven’t been on a vacation in 13 years.  THIS IS EPIC.  My friend (RICK) assures me that this is a vacation, and we’ll be doing all sorts of touristy things like a casino, a ferry ride, the space needle.

I’m really excited about it!

I’ve never met Rick but we’ve talked and been friends for a few years on Runescape.  I’ve spoken to his ex-wife and she assures me that he’s kind, loyal, a great guy that she merely grew away from.  He does drink, which I was aware of, but he has already let me know I’d be doing the driving while we’re there, which I’m perfectly content with.

What rhymes with hickdead?

teasing me only to push me away…

testing the waters to see if you still hold sway…

tempting me with your appeal…

In another attempt to make me feel…

like someone who would be happy, proud…

but being with the likes of you, disallowed…

fuck your games, your precious self…

I’ll put you back up on the shelf…

and wait for the one who can appreciate me…

and not the one who acts like a puss-y.

This is why online dating is a lesson in futility

Mr Wonderful’s profile:

My self-summary
Were are all the good respectful lady’s? Hello, mature ,quality ,respectful professional , self employed man own my own Business very outgoing and athletic in great shape,confident,polite,charming many talents,got my life together.Im very selective my time is valuable looking for a beautiful inside and out lady that’s kind,considerate,respectful easy going that takes good care of herself and shares the same . But if your into getting drunk, smoking,you’re not honest, don’t have a income,can’t hold a intelligent conversation, if you emotional issues or take psychological drugs no need contacting me and you actually want to meet a quality gentleman it’s not rocket science.
What I’m doing with my life
Living a good clean life.
I’m really good at
Fixing things,conversations,about anything hard to do and training dogs, lol
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Taking care of mind body spirit,helping people, living on the beach( someday soon)
On a typical Friday night I am
At a high school ball game or out enjoying live music
I admit, his profile pissed me off just a bit, so I wrote to him:
  • While I can appreciate your insistence that someone be respectful, your profile is anything but. The grammar police have all passed out. You’re of exceptional quality? Are you a side of beef? Come on now. YOU ARE ON A DATING SITE. You have flaws just as much as everyone else. Demanding that everyone else not… is just 1 sided and narcissistic. Good luck with your search.
  • Lol, I appreciate your banter. The fact is the profile don’t read and non appealing females message me so I have to be firm on that. Good luck to you

Winner of this week’s WTF moment

This is his profile.

.I’m 37 From Southeastern KY …I been in this lifestyle for a while now. Anyone who likes my pics and would like to chat please message me , I’m looking for anything from a play date , hook up , to being a live in slave , please message me ….Looking for someone to Help me learn how to serve Satan ….

This is the message he sent me:

please talk to me please !!!!! I am 36. I am from Southeastern KY. I am Looking to be a live in slave. I have been looking for this for a long time. I know I have a odd case but I wish you would think about this. Yes I am Married , I got married when I was 18 and I hate my wife and life . I have kids …16 and 15 my wife is a RN and she will take great care of them . I AM LOOKING TO DROP OFF THE EARTH …BECOME A FULL TIME LIVE IN SLAVE AND NO ONE I KNOW EVER FIND ME AGAIN …I have to have it this way ..I would give you my mind heart body and soul and make the best slave you ever had ..little to know limits ..please please think about it …Thank You with much Respect …Slave Bailey


1 month later………..

Wow, what a difference a month makes. Perhaps it’s a combination of the medications finally working properly, and time, but I feel better. I have even started dating! It sounds ridiculous even to me, but hey – as I said before, I don’t do alone. It’s been an interesting experience, and one I’ll probably go into further in another post.

For now, though, I’m posting some pics of me from recently.

This isn’t something I do…. I don’t take selfies. I sure as hell don’t post them online.  But I’m feeling better about myself.  So here I am.

me 2015